OK, So I just found out that some of my family members aren't happy with the fact the Tim and I are adopting from a country other than our own. This bugs me so much! I really don't like to defend why I am adopting from Haiti, and I really don't like it when people tell me that there are children in the US who need families! Duh, I know there are children here in the US who need families, but there are children in Haiti who are starving, and cloth less! I have adopted from right here in the states. I know there are children here. I also know there are children elsewhere with far less than our girls had when we adopted them. We didn't adopt the first time because we felt that we wanted to "Help some poor child" it was because this is what we felt the Lord wanted us to do. It was engraved into our hearts. It had been in my heart since I was a small child.
My son, the one God chose for us to be parents next is in Haiti. Why do people have to be so negative? Why can't they just keep their mouth shut if they don't like it when people adopt from other countries? WHY WHY WHY!!! It bugs me that children here can get Medicaid for medical attention, in Haiti, no such thing! Children can go to food banks, soup kitchens, and have food stamps to fill their stomachs, in Haiti, they die from starvation, no such options where they live. Here, children can get clothes from lots of places, in Haiti, they share 1 outfit among several children!
Please pray for every person with this attitude. Please pray for my attitude toward this topic. Pray that I can be patient and kind, even to those who disagree with what we are going to do! Every child should have the basics, love, a family, and life. I don't really know what else to say, other than I am really disturbed over this!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Disturbing!
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14 comments:
Are they adopting any children from the US? If not, then they need to hush...in my personal opinion.
People are filled with opinions on many topics ... and honestly, we are all full of opinions -- the difference is how we think about things and how we approach others - I have learned to let all of it roll off (most of the time) and recognize that we are all called to different things --- some are called to adopt, others are not. Some are called to adopt Internationally - others domestically. I would practice responding as positvely as you can to over-opinionated people and ignoring them as best you can. Sorry that people stink!!!
wow! i can fully understand this frustration! it's like the people who want me to stay in this country and work with needy children here. no one is denying that there are needy people in america, but if the Lord calls you to another place, staying put is not an option.
sarah, you have done what the Lord asked of you. you cannot be faulted for that. i will pray for people with this attitude, but just remember, if you are right before the Lord, you are right before all men!
Kathy Eden, No they aren't!
Thanks so much Livesay family. I really didn't know how to respond this time. It came from out of no where!
YouYou, thanks for the reminder. I frequently need reminders! For the most part, I am a people pleaser, and don't like to have people upset with me.
We tried for two years to adopt children out of foster care and not one child was placed with us in that time. I requested info on a multitude of them and had our homestudy sent. Some of them are STILL in foster care after TWO YEARS even though we said we'd be interested.
also, i don't know them, but maybe it's a good thing they're not adopting!
Kathy, We inquired about foster children also, and as with you, a few years later, these children still didn't have permant homes.
YouYou, Indeed, probably a good thing!
Uh...as my social worker told me...our worst here in America is still better than Haiti's best.
As Oprah said when critizied about why she was putting money into Africa instead of the US....here in the USA we have a choice to do and be better. There are organizations to help those who are sick, homeless, and hungry. In Africa they have no choice or chance to be better.
And my reply? When the US government starts showing they care about their own and helping people who want to adopt in the US get it done, that's when I would consider it! :)
Sarah, it would mean so much to each of us adoptive parents if our family and friends embraced our adoptions as we have ourselves. However, not everyone will truly understand all we go through, all we feel and all we experience. Our reasons are personal and that can make this entire journey all the more special. It is for the adoptive family to experience, know and share.
I pray for you to be able to give this to God so you heal, move on and cheerish this adoption for what it is to YOU!
Love,
Colleen
I guess what I was trying to say, Sarah, was ~~~ forget them and enjoy your adoption journey!
HUGS!!!
Thanks Colleen!
Hey there Sarah, I'm sorry you've received these negative reactions. We have a group of these type of people in our family as well. The only difference is that in our family they won't talk about the adoption AT ALL. They never ask about the boys, and change the subject when we bring them up. My husband was talking to one family member recently, mentioning where we were in the process and whatnot, and the reply he got was, "We bought a new computer yesterday." I pray the Lord will soften hearts in both our families!
I had this same comment only yesterday from a casual acquaintance. She told me it's too bad we have to go out of the country when there are so many kids right here. I politely told her if we were called to adopt from the US we would have, but we were called to Haiti. She didn't know what to say to that. I should have mentioned maybe they should adopt from here...
It's hard to get people to change their attitudes. Blessings...
My husband was asked why so many people are adopting internationally rather than from the US. His response was because of a faulty system here that makes it so difficult. I think that a lot of people see the great need for international kids to find homes. Even though kids in the US need forever families too, at least they have foster care and resources to help. We are currently inquiring about US children and have sent home studies out to MANY social workers. So far, nothing. We will see where God leads! For now, we are still waiting for IBESR to sign out our son's file.
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