Wednesday, June 6, 2007


I just read another blog, and it made me stop to think. I realized that through reading this blog entry, that fear holds me back from what I sometimes feel the Lord would have me do. I will proceed to state some of my fears as a way to start the change. This isn't easy for me, I don't like for people to see my fears, or hurts. I hide behind a wall so that no one knows how I truly feel. Here it goes:

I would love to go on a missions trip, but am afraid to fly.

I am afraid of loosing my children in largely populated areas, therefor sometimes avoiding certain places.

I love people, but don't open up much because like many relationships that have failed, I am afraid of being hurt.

I am afraid that my husband will go astray again.

I am afraid of terminal illnesses.

I don't often offer to host small groups at my house for fear it would be to small and people would be uncomfortable in a small place.

Well that is a start. I have many fears. I hate it. I just go on living life away from what I fear. I know this isn't healthy. I pray that someday I can learn to accept the my God is in control and has my best interest in mind. Here we go again, but out of fear I must say this. Please don't think I am crazy or anything. I sometimes am afraid to share because I have been told in the past that I share to much!


CDS said...

Thanks for sharing your fears. It is hard to come face to face with ourselves sometimes. It is much easier to be angry at others than to admit to our own fears and pain.... We help each other when we share a little part of ourselves.

Cindy S.

Anonymous said...

Why is it that we always seem to hand our fears over to the devil instead of giving them to God.
By letting our fears take control we are giving into the enemy...he loves when our fears hold us back from doing what God calls us to do...serving him, spreading his word, being in relations with each other. To often do I let my fears get in the way of all those things.
I really appreciate your honesty thanks for sharing

Angela said...

Yes, thanks for your honesty! We all have fears. I know you know it is not from the Lord. Love ya!!

Troy & Tara Livesay said...

Wow, this is a very good start to dealing with it all ... I think I understand where you are coming from. When I first met my husband and we got married I lived in fear of him dying. If he was five minutes late I automatically started running a story through my head about how he had died in a car accident --- it was morbid and unhealthy and it went on for about a year. Through prayer and really honest evaluation I was able to move beyond it --- all of that stuff IS the devil -- keeping you from experiencing all that God has planned for you and knowing true joy. Keep being honest and keep working on it and things WILL change.